This scientist and mom of twins will always be a small-town Oregon country girl at heart.
Family comes first.
All families are unique. Tell us about yours.
My husband, Bryan, and I met through mutual friends in Texas. I was in graduate school and he was fresh out of the Army. Neither of us are actually from Texas, but we kind of met in the middle, since I’m from Oregon and he’s from New Jersey. We met, fell in love, got married, adopted a hound dog named Ajax, and had our twins, Thomas and Emma.
As nice as Texas was, minus the hot summers, we had no family around which was challenging to say the least. So we decided to make the move to Oregon in 2021. We settled in Lebanon, our twins are 6 years old now and prospering. We have lots of family around, and we have no reason to make a cross-country move ever again.
When did you know you wanted to be a mom?
While I had goals that I wanted to accomplish with my education and career first, I always intended that I would have children, it was just a matter of when. Getting a PhD made it tough. Should I put off having kids and focus on my career? Or delay the career and start a family first? We chose the latter, it seemed the better choice for us.
Tell us about one of your proudest mom moments.
Nothing huge comes to mind, but I’m loving all the little times when they accomplish something small but totally unexpected and it dawns on me that they’re listening, learning and growing into good little people.
Now tell us about one of your most humbling mom moments.
My most humbling mom moment was walking out of the hospital after the twins were born, but without the twins. They were premature and needed to remain in the NICU for some time, but it just felt wrong in my head. I had to swallow every maternal instinct I had and accept that the best place for them wasn’t with their mom, but under the care and supervision of total strangers who could better see to their immediate needs than I could. My heart still hurts from having to walk away from them that day, but it was a very valuable lesson that I will not forget.
You know you’re a mom when you hear yourself say…
“Who didn’t flush the toilet? Who forgot to wipe too?” So much of parenting thus far has involved poop, and I can’t wait for that to end.
No one works harder than mom.
Tell us about your work or volunteerism outside of the home.
I’m a Technical Support Scientist for Abcam Ltd, a biotech company based in the UK (with an office in Eugene) that produces antibodies and other scientific products used for lab work. Basically, I help other scientists choose the right products they need to run their experiments and help them troubleshoot when things go awry. On top of that, I balance my career and family by volunteering with our local United Way, where I’m on the community impact committee.
What have you learned professionally that has helped you as a mom?
One of the most important things that I’ve learned over years of teaching and helping scientists is that explaining how something works is much more powerful than either doing it yourself or giving only the basic steps to achieve the endpoint. If someone understands the premise of what they are doing, then they can replicate and build on that premise on their own. As a mom, this means letting my children perform acts themselves, letting them take responsibility for a process, even letting them fail, all the while knowing that I need to provide the context and knowledge before expecting that they can do it themselves. I want my children to understand the implications of the actions they take, not just do them because “mom said so.” There are still definitely moments when, “because I said so” spills out of my mouth, but I try to be aware that giving more information could likely save me from saying that at all.
If mom’s not happy, nobody’s happy.
Tell us about your upbringing. How did it shape the mother you are today?
My father’s side of the family is incredibly close, with a large number of aunts and uncles and cousins who really enjoy each other’s company. Growing up, we were always together at my grandparents’ house or camping or riding ATVs at the dunes. I didn’t grasp the uniqueness of this until I was an adult, that not all families get along and want to spend time with each other. I assumed this was normal, but I have since learned what an amazing gift this is and I am incredibly appreciative. This is a large part of why we made the move to Oregon from Texas. I wanted my children to also be able to grow up in this loving, supportive environment with many different people to learn from.
Where did you grow up, and how did it influence you?
I was born and raised in Lebanon, participated in 4-H, FFA and raised livestock. I’m still a small-town Oregon country girl at heart. My husband is a city boy, and he took me to New York City on a vacation once. No thanks! If I’m surrounded by too many people and buildings I start getting antsy and claustrophobic.
When was the last time you did something for the first time?
Got a tattoo. It doesn’t sound like much, but this was March 2020. My husband and I went out for our sixth wedding anniversary the day before the big covid lockdown started. With the world seemingly about to end, we got a sitter for the kids and went out anyway. At some point in the evening my husband devilishly asked if I would ever get a tattoo. Up until that point I had always said I would never get a tattoo because nothing seemed important enough. Not to suggest liquor didn’t play a part, or the looming pandemic, but in that moment I realized that I would if it was something related to our kids. So we both got the twins’ first initials on the same spot on the inside of our biceps: T&E.
What is something you will NEVER do again?
Graduate school was brutal. For years I kept having to ask myself the same question every grad student asks themselves: Why am I putting myself through this? I persevered, got the degrees, but I never really had a satisfying answer to that question and still don’t.
But that was nothing compared to pregnancy. Let me preface this: I love my kids and am super happy we had them. But there is no way I’m ever going through that ordeal again. Between the rough pregnancy, the emergency C-section, premature twins in the NICU, multiple medical emergency scares after, and the struggle of caring for infant twins with no real support network within a thousand miles, it nearly broke me. My husband too; he’s an Army combat veteran, he said that having the twins was far scarier and more stressful than anything he experienced in Iraq. There were highs and lows to both of those adventures, and the destination made the trip worth it, but I never want to experience either of those again.
Tell us something about you that would surprise people who don’t know you.
I was a pioneer in the field of in vitro fertilization for goats and sheep. If you ever want to confuse people that you just met, tell them your job is to make cow babies in a dish. Works every time.
What keeps you up at night (apart from kids, of course)?
A good book. Recently I’ve really been enjoying fantasy types. Although I do love self-help books, too (which my husband endlessly groans at).
What is something you think everyone should do at least once in their lives?
I think everyone should leave home at least once. This might be going to college or joining the military or getting a job in a town two hours away. But I think taking that step away helps you develop your own sense of self and helps you decide where you truly want to end up. If nothing else, it makes you appreciate what you left behind.
Listen to mom.
Is motherhood what you expected? What surprised you the most?
Motherhood isn’t what I expected, but honestly at this point I can’t even remember what I expected. I think what surprises me most, continually, is the kids themselves. Watching their growth as they become their own people, that’s just the most amazing process. And it’s shocking how different they are, personality wise, despite being twins. Even in the infant stage they were so different from one another. Tommy’s personality was so distinctly different than Emma’s from day 1, and we had nothing to do with that.
What message would you like to share with other moms? Remember to tell it like it is.
Motherhood is by far the most challenging adventure I have embarked on, but also the most rewarding. It’s about the long game, making sure that you have done everything you can to give your children more than you had and to set them up for success in life. But also remembering to enjoy the moments and celebrate the successes along the way, when they cuddle up with you to watch a movie, or when they say thank you, unprompted, after someone else hands them a cookie. When you watch them run to help a friend who fell off their bike or see the wonder of fireworks through their eyes. It’s also about appreciating the challenges and using them as an opportunity to teach resiliency and perspective. There will be medical emergencies and uncontrolled emotions and clashes of wills, but those are all part of life. As a mother, you are teaching your child how to live.
MOM’s favorite…
Tell us about your favorite…
…family game: Competitive solitaire (aka Nertz)
…words to live by: Be flexible
…place to find some peace & quiet: the garden
…way to get out of making dinner: Pizza night!
…parenting book or philosophy: The job of a parent is to help develop a productive, beneficial member of society.
MOMs love local…
We love locally owned businesses, restaurants, places and organizations. Share your favorite…
…hair salon: Sass & Sparkle Salon
…restaurant to take the kids: Hangry Solutions, Schmizza Public House
…restaurants for a date night: Vault 244
…take-out, food truck or quick bite: Double JJ BBQ in Millersburg
…local park where kids can let off steam: Cheadle Lake, Old Mill Trail
…event in your community: Christmas Storybook Land
…activity for date night: Oregon’s Indoor Shooting Range
…massage: Divine Massage
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