We agree: motherhood does sometimes feel like juggling flaming torches while riding a unicycle on a tightrope.
Profession: Health & wellness coach
Community: Salem
Partner: Shane Hess, orthopedic surgeon
Children: Lincoln, age 3, and Sawyer, age 2
Photos by: Laurel Bice
Family comes first.
All families are unique. Tell us about yours. I was born and raised in Tucson, the heart of the Sonoran Desert, which is also where I met my husband, Shane, back in 2015. After a year we moved to Scottsdale and were there for three years before realizing that we craved a change of scenery, something a bit less…hot.
We landed in Salem, a charming city that surprised us with its friendly people and stunning scenery (we visited in the summer, so naturally, it was all sunshine and roses). Having spent my entire life in a place where the sun tries its best to turn you into a crispy critter, I was instantly smitten with Oregon’s lush greenery, towering trees and the promise of actual seasons.
In November 2019, we packed up our lives, two big dogs (Kai and Kona), and embarked on a 21-hour road trip to our new home. Shane was convinced I’d be curled up in a ball, weeping for the desert within a week. But the joke is on him! I fell head over heels for the rain, the cozy sweaters…plus, let’s be real, you can walk your dog in a drizzle, but try doing that on asphalt hot enough to fry an egg.
Fast forward through a global pandemic and the arrival of two tiny humans: Lincoln, our 3.5-year-old explorer, and Sawyer, his 2.5-year-old partner in crime (they’re 14 months apart, because who needs sleep anyway?). They’re already experts at puddle-jumping, and I’m pretty sure they’ll be skiing and building elaborate mud kingdoms before they can even tie their shoes. Now that we’re (mostly) out of the diaper phase, we’re exploring everything Oregon has to offer.
Every family has its own traditions, rituals or inside jokes. What are some of yours? We were on a road trip to Bend and stopped in Sisters, a place so familiar with our family’s bathroom needs, they might as well have a dedicated plaque with our names on it. Lincoln, barely two at the time, was in his adorable, babbling phase, while Sawyer, the nine-month-old car seat destroyer, was about to unleash his inner chaos. A “code brown” situation erupted in Sawyer’s car seat, prompting a frantic cleanup operation. My husband bravely tackled the car seat, while I wrestled the Sawyer-shaped biohazard. In all the chaos Shane yelled, “Ah! Poop in my eye!” He managed to get some of the mess in his eye, or at least he thought he did. Lincoln, our tiny comedian, found this utterly hilarious and erupted in giggles. A few days later, during a rare moment of peace, Lincoln gleefully taunted his dad with, “POO-POO EYE!” We all lost it, the absurdity of the situation was too much to handle. Now, “poo-poo in my eye” has become our family’s official phrase for “dad’s being dramatic.”
Tell us about one of your proudest mom moments. One of my proudest moments as a mom has been watching my kids develop a healthy relationship with food. It’s really important to me that they grow up as intuitive eaters, trusting their bodies and honoring their hunger cues. We focus on listening to those cues, so I decide what goes on their plates, but they get to choose what and how much they eat. Some nights it’s an all-apple buffet, other nights they surprise me by actually trying new things. But here’s the thing I’m most proud of: I include a “treat” food with every meal, no strings attached. There’s no “eat your veggies first” or “you can have dessert if...” It’s just part of the meal, like any other food. And you know what? It’s working. They don’t obsess over the treat, and they often don’t even eat it all. It’s not this forbidden treasure they have to earn, and the other foods aren’t “punishments” they have to endure to get to the good stuff. It’s amazing to see them calmly choose an apple over a cookie, or decide they’re full and leave some of their treat behind. It means I’m doing something right, and that’s a pretty awesome feeling.
Now tell us about one of your most humbling mom moments. We’ve been on this “no stupid” crusade in our house, thanks to our ever-vigilant 3-year-old. On a recent trip I slipped up and “stupid” slipped out, referring to something completely trivial. Lincoln became my tiny, personal morality police. “Mama, you said stupid! That’s not a nice word!” he declared, with all the righteous indignation of a miniature town crier. I did the whole “You’re absolutely right, I’m sorry. It will not happen again,” routine, thinking that would be the end of it. Narrator: It was not the end of it.
What is the most surprising thing you have found wedged between the sofa cushions or behind a car seat? Toy cars! So many cars everywhere…
What are you enjoying the most about parenting right now? Oh man, the toddler years are wild, aren’t they? It’s like living with two tiny philosophers who also happen to be expert climbers and possess a vocabulary that’s 50% made-up words. But it’s the best kind of chaos. Right now, I’m loving watching them figure out the world. Their brains are like little sponges, soaking up everything, and the things they come up with? Pure gold. And their relationship with each other is a constant source of entertainment. One minute they’re best buddies, building elaborate pillow forts and sharing snacks (kind of). The next minute, they’re locked in an epic battle over a single toy car, complete with dramatic yelling and maybe some light wrestling.
You know you’re a mom when you hear yourself say… “Is that poop or chocolate?”
No one works harder than mom.
We know that being a mom is a full-time job. How do you balance (or not) motherhood, activities, work, volunteering, household responsibilities, and life in general? What sometimes falls through the cracks?
Okay, real talk: balancing motherhood with, well, everything else is like trying to juggle flaming torches while riding a unicycle on a tightrope. It’s a constant state of organized chaos, and some days, I feel like I’m just one dropped torch away from a total meltdown.
I’m incredibly fortunate to own my own business and work from home and to have found a nanny who’s basically part of our family. But even with that support system, it’s a constant dance. Some days, I’m nailing it, rocking the business owner-life-mom thing like a boss. Other days, I’m pretty sure I’ve forgotten what day it is, and my to-do list is longer than my arm. And honestly, I couldn’t do any of it without my amazing husband, Shane. He’s not just a fantastic partner, he’s a superhero dad. He tackles parenthood with this infectious enthusiasm that makes even the most mundane tasks seem fun. But it’s more than just the fun stuff. He’s incredibly patient, supportive, and always there with a hug, even when covered in questionable substances.
So, what falls through the cracks? Sometimes, it’s the housework. Sometimes, it’s my “me time.” And sometimes, it’s just remembering to brush my hair before noon. But that’s okay because at the end of the day, I’m surrounded by love, laughter and the occasional rogue Lego.
Tell us about your work or volunteerism outside of the home. In my “other life,” the one where I occasionally wear pants without sticky fingerprints, I’m a board-certified health coach and have my own coaching business. Basically, I help people ditch the fad diets and create a lifestyle that actually works for them. We’re talking about sustainable changes that make them feel awesome, not miserable. I help people create a lifestyle that nourishes their bodies and minds.
It’s like being a detective, therapist, and cheerleader all rolled into one. I help people uncover their unique needs, ditch those pesky habits that are holding them back, and discover a way of eating and living that makes them feel amazing. We’re talking about real, lasting changes that fit into their lives, not some rigid plan they found on the internet that’s doomed to fail by week two.
Tell us about a recent achievement you’re proud of, or a personal passion or talent. A couple years ago I got board certified as a health coach, and let me tell you, that exam was no joke. Between work and wrangling two under two, studying felt like an Olympic sport. When I saw that I passed it was like a giant weight lifted.
When was the last time you failed? What did you learn? I fail so often, I should probably get a frequent-failure punch card. But here’s the thing: I’ve learned to embrace the epic face-plant. It’s just like I tell my clients: failure isn’t a scarlet letter, it’s a learning opportunity. When things don’t go according to plan, I try to channel my inner detective: “What went sideways? What can I do differently next time?” The only real failure is giving up on trying to figure it out.
If mom’s not happy, nobody’s happy.
What do you think is the most important life skill or value your parents taught you? Independence.
When was the last time you did something for the first time? This “season,” is just a never-ending parade of firsts. I’m constantly mastering one chaotic routine, only to have it completely obliterated by some new toddler-induced curveball.
I’m a routine enthusiast, a schedule aficionado, a planner extraordinaire so when things go sideways, my internal compass just spins wildly. Every day is a fresh opportunity to learn a new level of winging it.
Which good habit do you wish you started earlier? Running. I didn’t get into running until my 20s and I absolutely love it. I wish I had started younger, but it’s never too late to start anything!
What is the quality you like most about yourself? Compassion. Not the kind where I’m weeping over every squirrel with a limp, but the kind where I actually listen. Like, really listen. I genuinely want to understand where people are coming from.
If you could instantly have one new skill (i.e. foreign language, musical talent, eyes in the back of your head, etc.), what would it be? Definitely eyes in the back of my head. With two toddler boys, need I say more?
Tell us something about you that would surprise people who don’t know you. I hate onions. With a passion. Luckily my husband loves them. So when I have to add them to recipes I cut the onion in half or quarters so I can easily pick them out and he doesn’t mind at all.
What keeps you up at night (apart from kids, of course)? Confession time: I’m a sleep snob. I’m utterly, shamelessly obsessed with good sleep. I actually brag about my sleep hygiene, which I realize is a weird flex, but hey, I earned it. (Unless, of course, a tiny human or a furry alarm clock decides to stage a midnight wake-up call.)
What keeps you sane? Movement. Strength training, running, cycling, hot yoga, pilates, etc. My friends know I’m their go-to workout buddy, the one who’s always up for trying a new class, even if it involves interpretive dance with resistance bands.
What is your least/most favorite household chore? Least: dishes. Favorite: mopping. Our floors get so dirty with toddler boys and two big dogs that it’s so satisfying to watch all the things go away with just a sweep of a mop (a steam mop, so we’re sanitizing also, because dogs and boys).
What’s your guilty pleasure (dark chocolate hidden in the pantry, daily latte…)? The Real Housewives series, all of them.
Listen to mom.
Is motherhood what you expected? What surprised you the most? Let’s just say I expected a theme park, and I got a theme park designed by a caffeinated squirrel. The biggest surprise? The emotional whiplash. Seriously, it’s like being on a ride where the highs and lows switch places every five seconds. One minute, I’m thinking, “This is it. This is the apocalypse. My life is a never-ending cycle of tantrums and sticky fingers.” The next, I’m looking at my kids and thinking, “I’ve never felt this much pure, unadulterated joy in my entire existence!” And then, BAM! Back to the tantrum. Rinse and repeat, about 30 times a day.It’s truly the most baffling, exhausting and wonderful experience.
What’s the best advice you’ve received from another mom? Let go of the mom guilt because there’s more around the corner…
What message would you like to share with other moms? Remember to tell it like it is. Moms, let’s
be real. We’re not just amazing, we’re superheroes in disguise. We’re navigating the uncharted territories of toddler tantrums, deciphering the cryptic language of baby babble, and somehow managing to keep tiny humans alive while simultaneously trying to remember what day it is. Motherhood is a glorious, messy, sleep-deprived adventure. There will be days when you feel like you’re nailing it, and days when you’re pretty sure you’re failing spectacularly. But here’s the secret: you’re not alone. We’re all in this together, a tribe of warriors battling laundry mountains and negotiating snack-time peace treaties.
Trust your instincts, even when they’re telling you to hide in the pantry. Embrace the chaos, the spills, the unexpected meltdowns, because those are the moments that make this journey so incredibly rich. And most importantly, remember that you’re doing a fantastic job, even when you feel like you’re falling apart. Give yourself some grace, take a deep breath, and know that you’re enough, just as you are.
MOM’s favorite…
Tell us about your favorite…
…family game: Chickapig
…words to live by: Progress not perfection
…place to find some peace & quiet: Anywhere out of the house
…binge-worthy TV or podcast: Huberman Lab, The Doctor’s Farmacy, Shrinking
…time-saving app or digital tool: iCalendar
…parenting book or philosophy: Big Little Feelings; Good Inside
MOMs love local…
We love locally owned businesses, restaurants, places and organizations. Share your favorite…
…shop to pick up a gift for a friend: Willamette Valley Kitchen Co.
…coffee spot: Urban Grange Coffee
…spot to get a good workout: Common People Yoga
…hair salon: June Karter Salon
…restaurant to take the kids: Cascadia Pizza Co.
…restaurants for a date night: Cozy Taberna, Bentley’s
…take-out, food truck or quick bite: Checkpoint 22
…local park where kids can let off steam: Any park! But my favorite is Keizer Rapids
…event in your community: Minto Island Growers pizza (Wednesdays in summer)
…any other local places you love: Salem Saturday Market
Comments